Joke #8047

A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!

Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift. The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him. The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy." "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also. The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked. "No," said the little girl. So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."

Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.

What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.

A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.