A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.
Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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Why are contipated folks unkind and rude?
Cause they don't give a crap!
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Q: Why was the condom flying through the air?
A: It got pissed off.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
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What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?"
"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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"How are your hemorrhoids?"
"Swell."
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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