Joke #8047

A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 51.36 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

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A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."
Vote: has 79.71 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote: has 71.80 % from 145 votes. Send joke:

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There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Two old ladies are at the movies. "Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off." "What makes you say that?" "He's using my hand."
Vote: has 77.52 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street. They had been friends in school but had lost touch over time. They used sign language to catch up on old times. Through the course of conversation one of the deaf-mutes learned the other had learned to speak and was no longer mute. This amazed the fellow that was still mute and he asked about the procedure. His friend gave him the doctor's card and went on his way. The deaf mute wasted no time and went straight to the doctor's office. The doctor informed the procedure took 26 days and cost one million dollars. The man handed the doc his insurance card and begged the doctor to start the treatment that day. The doctor had the man strip and lay over the examination table. The doctor went to his closet and took out a bucket of mayonnaise and a broom handle with a door knob on the end. The doc got a running start and shoved the mayonaise covered door knob up the deaf-mute's ass. The mute screamed,"AY!AY!AY!" The doctor said,"very good we will work on the B's tomorrow."
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Vote: has 73.01 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women