Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
A: Lots of room. 
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Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another.
The elephants were connected trunk to tail.
They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them.
Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000.
B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?"
Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each."
B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!"
Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp.
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Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
"Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?"
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Three drifters are roaming the countryside for some time.
They come upon a small farmhouse with crops planted around it.
They are very hungry, thirsty, and tired so the first guy suggests they steal some food.
The second says they should ask for food, so he then goes up and knocks on the door and an old, ugly lady answers.
He asks for food and she agrees - but only under one condition.
They must have sex with her.
The first drifter says no, the lady is too ugly, and goes back into the woods.
The third guy is very hungry and agrees.
He enters the cottage and goes into a corner near a pile of corn to transact his business with the old lady.
The old lady is ready, but the guy says he'll only do it if she's blindfolded.
So she puts on a blindfold and bends over.
Quickly the guy grabs an ear of corn and sticks it inside the old lady, then throws it out the window.
The woman says, "Again," and the man does the same thing.
Satisfied, she gives the man some food and he leaves.
As he is walking out of the farmhouse, he comes upon the other two guys.
"Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"
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A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers.
He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."
"But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor.
"Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
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Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex.
"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.
"Making a cake" his mom replies.
Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.
"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.
"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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Joke has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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