Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
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A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child...!"
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," said the patient.
"How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...