A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.