A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.