The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
AA By his net income.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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