The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck norris made medusa turn into stone.
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Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.