The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that's the job my friend took during his summer vacation. Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line. Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?" "Yeah, still here," said the man. "Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected." "No," the man said, "that would sound more like this." He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.