Joke #8207

Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."

What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.

Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar? They are both stuck up cunts.

Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.

What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."