Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me. After some moments I dared to ask her: "Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife." The lady responded: "It is Chanel and from Paris." After about ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out. Some seconds later she broke and said: "Offf... what is this smell my God"? I said: "Gar lic and from Gilroy city in California."