Joke #8226

Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, Valentines day

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A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
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has 77.45 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: animal, couple, disgusting, god, Valentines day
Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
The most effective way to remember to buy something to your wife for St. Valentine's Day is... to forget it once!
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: memory, Valentines day, wife
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, Valentines day
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dating, technology, Valentines day
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl? A: Her-She Kisses.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, Valentines day, women
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex, Valentines day