Joke #13496

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: business, Chuck Norris, disgusting

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A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off." The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?" The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA." The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off." The man answers, "Yes!" The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: business, disgusting, doctor
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinal. As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help. "Oh yes please!?" the man cries. "You have a kind heart, sir," says the man with no arms. But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things. The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it. So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so. "Thank you very much, sir!" says the armless man. "No problem," says Bob "but what the hell is wrong with your penis?" The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says "I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: business, disgusting
Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: business, Chuck Norris
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, celebrity, Chuck Norris
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.
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has 18.68 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood. When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor. He says, "Ma'am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I'll eat whatever the vacuum doesn't pick up." The woman smiles and asks, "Could I get you some ketchup with that?" The salesman scoffs confidently and says, "I assure you my vacuums have more power than any other on the market today!" The woman replies, "Well, that may be so, but we just moved in and the electricity isn't turned on yet."
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting