As I stand here, and try to piss,
I think of the gal that gave me this.
If I see her, when I get well,
I'll get it again.
As sure as Hell.
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I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body.
More humiliating?
It was attached to my left breast.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
One day a tiny Apache indian child walked into Big Chief Sitting Bull's Teepee.
"Sitting Bull," He asked,
"Why does every man in our tribe have such long, complicated names?"
"Well," says Sitting Bull,
"Its simple.Whenever a baby in this tribe is born, His Father wanders outside, absorbs the wonder of nature and then names his child on the first thing he sees. Why do you ask, Two dogs fucking?"
My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me.
On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen.
Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"
Vote:
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Vote:
Two Generals were preparing for battle.
The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!"
The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform.
The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage.
The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright, white couple.
Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have a black baby, and set to work.
Nine months later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl.
Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black baby.
Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him aside and asked, "Is your d*ck at least a foot long?"
John had to admit that it was not.
"And is it at least four inches wide?"
Once more John replied in the negative.
"Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy slapped him on the back.
"You let in too much light!"
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”