Joke #1806

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.

Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.

Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!

Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."

Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.

Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.

The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?" Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation" The teacher stared at him and fainted.

A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."