Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
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Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis.
He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
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Q: Why are gays so happy?
A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary.”
“Is that you, Fred?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”
“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”
“Not exactly, I’m a sheep in Wales.”
Hey babe, I'd like to take it your rack! High five!
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch?
A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?
A: Fuck if I know
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
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