Joke #3379

What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.
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has 18.11 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, life
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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has 44.56 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday morning at 4:30 AM the man and the dog would go fishing. One day, the man fell in love and got married. After the wedding, when the man and the woman got in bed together, the man turned to the woman. "Tomorrow is Sunday and every Sunday morning, me and my dog go fishing at 4:30 AM. We'd like you to come along." "And what if I don't want to come along?" the woman asked impatiently. "Well then, sweetie, we'll just have to have buttsex." With that, the man rolled over and fell asleep, and left the woman pondering. "God, I hate having the buttsex, but I also hate getting up so early. I'll have to think about this more." In the morning, the woman could hear the man going downstairs to get the dog. It was much too early for the woman to get up so she decided to wait for the inevitable buttsex. She waited for about half an hour and fell back asleep, thinking her husband had left already. She awoke to the man, pulling on her arm. "Have you made your decision?" he asked "Yes," she replied. "I do not want to go fishing." True to his word, the man pulled down his pants. "By the way, what took you so long to come upstairs? It usually doesn't take that long to get Sparky up." "I know," the man said. "He didn't want to go either."
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has 72.62 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, fish, time
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
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has 22.87 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, disgusting, life, sex
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
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has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 43.52 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex