Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers.
The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings."
The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose."
The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt."
The first and second boys where amazed.
The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?"
"No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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