Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University.
One of his letters home reads:
Dear Father,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear David,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves.
“Daddy, were you in a war?”
“Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be.
Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris.
It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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