Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school.
Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?"
"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
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One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him.
“Daddy, the cat died today!”
“Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.”
“But why are his arms and legs up in the air?”
“Well, darling, that’s just something they do.”
She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later.
When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.
“Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
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A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son:
"Dad, what is Windows 95?"
"Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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