Joke #8311

One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.

Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common? A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box." His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. "That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."

Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.

Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.

1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.

An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.