One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap."
The other man says, "Who?"
The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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There was a man who just got out of the army.
He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house.
He told the women, "Gimme anything you got."
So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside."
She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom.
10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again.
He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?"
She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.
A: Ground Beef!
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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield?
His Butt!
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
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