Joke #8317

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, disgusting, family, food
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
Vote:
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Vote:
has 82.88 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drug
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote:
has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.
Vote:
has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote:
has 67.09 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting