Joke #8317

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one. SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes. TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'. OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells. BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out. ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp. NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!" U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, disgusting, fart
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
Vote: has 74.33 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' "Hell no," Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. "Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?" "I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!" "I didn't." Jeff said. "They're your pants."
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, health
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
Vote: has 73.48 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, music, school, student
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting