Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom?
A: I don’t know… ask your father.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Q: What do you call nuts on a wall?
A: Wallnuts
Q: What do you call nuts on your chest?
A: Chest nuts
Q: What do you call nuts on your chin?
A: A penis in your mouth
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
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A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
He came into my room late at night.
He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left.
It was terrible.
It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A: To get to the bottom...
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children?
A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
Looking for man with these qualifications:
- won't beat me up
- won't run away from
- is great in bed.
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"