A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.
The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10.
Your parachute will automatically open.
If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord.
When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base.
Move out!"
As scared as they are, they all make it out the door.
The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing.
He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle.
He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand.
Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Vote:
One step forward, 12 floors down.
Vote:
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote:
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Vote:
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
Vote:
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Vote:
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
Vote:
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
Vote:
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Vote:
Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one.
Break their bones - they have 206.
Vote: