Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing: "Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…" "What did you see?" "I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…" "Wow horror!" "Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
A ship goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island. Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived. So they come to this agreement. All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies. The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful. It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.