Joke #8549

I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!

Do you know the joke of "no me neither"? No. Me neither.

I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman

Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"

What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported to the hospital. While she was in surgery she had a supernatural, near death experience. She met God and asked him: "Has my time come?" He answered: "No, you have 43 years, 2 months and 8 more days to live." After she recovered, the woman decided to stay in hospital and do plastic surgery on her face, liposuction, breast enlargement and abdominal fat removal. She also called a hair stylist to change her hairstyle and an orthodontist to perform a ‘teeth lifting’. She figured, if she had so much time in front of her, she should live the best way possible. After her last plastic surgery and not until she has recovered, she wore a new dress with matching heels, left the hospital, went across the street and an ambulance run over her… While crossing the gates to heaven, she reached God and demanded to know what happened: "You told me I had 43 more years! Why didn’t you save me from the ambulance?" And he answered: "I didn’t recognize you."

Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.