Joke #8549

I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
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The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
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Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things. Doctor: Since when did you have these problems? Patient: What problems?
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An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
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Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."
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A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
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I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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