Joke #8549

I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.

You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.

Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.

A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.

What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza? Little Seizures. What? To soon?

If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"

Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.

Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.

If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!