Joke #3677

What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.

"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."

So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".

Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."