Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.