Joke #10271

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.

Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.

When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.

Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.

Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.

Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.

Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe." But what does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!

Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: They are easier to keep amused.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"