Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?"
"We made copies of all the receipts!"
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.