Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Chuck Norris can set the oven to cold.
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