Q: What do you call a redneck that's bursting into flames? A: A fire cracker.
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and was stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in, and slapped the driver on the side of his head. "What did you do that for?" the driver asked. "I don’t know how yall do it up north but here in Alabama, you have your drivers license ready when I walk up to the car." The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver. He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window. When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head. "What did you do that for?" asked the startled passenger. "Well," responded the trooper, "I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, 'I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!'"
Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle? A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it?" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs. The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts. The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like beanery. The second Mexican replies: It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell. The third mexican says: YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell. The third white guys says: I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.
Yo' Mama is so redneck, the door mat to her trailer home doubles as a mad flap for her pick up truck.