how do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front.
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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom.
There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco.
There is too much taco in my country.
Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says:
There are too much Mexicans in my country.
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My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
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Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
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Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
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Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
Because black people have no rights...
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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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