how do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front.
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Similar jokes
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Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
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Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp?
The kids come back.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
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Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno.
But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!"
I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
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Hitler is daddy!
Hump me!
Fuck me!
Daddy better gas them Jews.
My gas chambers love the smoke.
G-g-gas the Jews.
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