Joke #8871

TEACHER: Why would you paint something black? STUDENT: So it runs faster.

A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"

This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!

A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

What color is a burp? It's burple!

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "I don't know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one and Daddy totally freaked out and Mommy fainted"

Q:How does a bear start a race? A: READY, TEDDY, GO!

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.

Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."

"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."