When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.