When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.