What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool?
Throw in your laundry.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
Vote:
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
Vote:
How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ?
The stories of whites start: Once upon a time...
The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
Vote:
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.
The e-mail reads:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.
Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Vote:
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them!
There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
Vote:
My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
Vote:
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Vote:
I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers.
Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
Vote:
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Vote:
Joke has 22.53 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day