Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
A: Jews have 10 fingers.
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
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It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!
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