Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough.
Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself.
My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager.
Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him.
"I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling.
The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
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