Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
Q: Why did hitter kill himself? A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?” The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”