Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him.
"I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling.
The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish.
After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns.
Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news.
She opens the door and hears Fred sing:
"Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
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What's pink and spits?
A baby in a frying pan.
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What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary."
Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
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