Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
A: He went down really well!
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This could be considered the ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy.
A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
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A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end.
"Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news."
The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life."
"Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?"
The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
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