My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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Similar jokes
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Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's?
He always burns the franks.
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W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!
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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
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John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
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