Joke #5863

My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Vote: has 80.92 % from 551 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, wife
This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise." So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
Vote: has 73.55 % from 172 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, old people, wife
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
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Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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More jokes about: black humor, death
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!
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Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, dinosaur