My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.
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