Joke #900

Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof? A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become. the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit!"

Three blondes are stranded on an island. A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish. So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army. The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off. The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."

A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."

Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.

A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed? A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch ’n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.