Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof?
A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.
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A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding.
The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields.
One blonde says, "Look over there!"
They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat.
The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name."
The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
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Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.
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Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist?
A: Someone dented her car.
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath".
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland.
She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."