Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
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A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving.
The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?"
The drunk man, "What drugs?"
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep.
I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any.
Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s.
I tried.
But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Why are football stadiums always cool?
"Because they're full of fans."
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
Vote:
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.