Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning.
The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
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Recently, I've been using the Bible for support.
I've got a wobbly coffee table.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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