Joke #5373

Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t." "But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies. "But, I do."
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 46.40 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why! Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
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has 50.40 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, women
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 30.82 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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has 50.27 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 65.08 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
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has 42.92 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
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has 84.11 % from 1121 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife, women
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
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has 59.37 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
One night, a horny old geezer decides to get himself a hooker. Since the man doesn't have much money, he looks for the cheapest whore in the nearest Red Light District. A short while later, he finds what he's looking for and spends $10 for oral sex and intercourse. The next morning, the old geezer wakes up and discovers he has crabs. So, he gets dressed and heads down to where he had been the night before. He notices the same hooker on the street corner, so he marches over to her and says, "Hey, lady, you gave me crabs!" The hooker replies, "Hey, old man, what did you expect for $10? Lobster?"
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has 77.88 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: dirty