Joke #5521

A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." "Nope!" replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face, "You want C-A-N-D-Y." "Nope!" replied George. "Then just what the hell do you want," ask Santa. George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!"
Vote:
has 80.33 % from 296 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote:
has 58.01 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night." All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."
Vote:
has 79.50 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Vote:
has 59.29 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Vote:
has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty
Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? A: Better traction.
Vote:
has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, travel
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Vote:
has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values. At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison. Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?" He said, "...Scr*w him...give him a dollar." The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."
Vote:
has 76.44 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
Vote:
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, Yo mama
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."
Vote:
has 79.42 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
Vote:
has 73.08 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: dirty