What does a graduate student with a science degree ask?
"Why does it work?"
What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask?
"How does it work?"
What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask?
"How much will it cost?"
What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask?
"Do you want fries with that?"
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Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report."
Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don't know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?
Fred: None!
Fred (surprised): Why not?
Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions."
Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love.
In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is."
She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties.
After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess.
"Blue."
"Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear.
"Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"