What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?" What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? "How does it work?" What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? "How much will it cost?" What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? "Do you want fries with that?"
Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest tits? The blonde....she's 18.
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Mother: What did you learn in school today Son: How to write. Mother: What did you write? Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."