Joke #9481

Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives. The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door." The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones." The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."
Vote: has 85.15 % from 266 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Vote: has 84.92 % from 1090 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Vote: has 80.06 % from 236 votes. Send joke:

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A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.96 % from 1407 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Vote: has 78.01 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

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