Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine.
I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.
Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"
St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
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What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
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Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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