Q: Where do one-legged people eat?
A: IHOP. 
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There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Q: How do you kill an emo?
A: You don't you let depression do the work.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?"
Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
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Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.
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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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