Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I’d like to hear them say…… look at him, he's moving!"
My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face? A: Stop laughing and reload.
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.