Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’