Joke #9613

Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, morbid, tax
One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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has 78.63 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, elf, Santa
Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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has 64.86 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
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has 32.17 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, dead baby, dog, morbid
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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has 65.24 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got the results back this morning. I'm afraid you have Avain flu, Ebola, and you're positive for HIV and hepatitis." Stunned, the man asks "Well, what's next!? What are you going to do?" The doc replies: "Well, for starters, we're putting you on a strict diet of only pizza." The patient asks: "Will that really help me, doctor?" "No", the doc responds. "But it's all we can fit under the door."
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has 84.91 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: Where does a black jew go? A: The back of the oven.
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has 40.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, jewish, morbid, racist
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
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has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex