Joke #5101

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death
Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing: "Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…" "What did you see?" "I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…" "Wow horror!" "Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
Vote: has 81.01 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, relationship
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, black humor, party, religious
Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
Vote: has 72.13 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ? The stories of whites start: Once upon a time... The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
Vote: has 36.62 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor