Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Similar jokes
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Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.
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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
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Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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On the day of my big job interview I woke up late.
Frantically I threw on a suit.
"OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!"
I grabbed a tie and ran out the door.
"Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!"
"Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench."
Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions.
After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.
"Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied.
"What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously.
"I ran a morgue." was the reply.
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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