Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Why are little girls better than little boys?
Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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