Q: Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
A young man goes into the Job Centre in Sydney, and sees an ad for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details on this job?" he asks the clerk. The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the women ready for the gynaecological consult. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down, and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the examination. There's an annual salary of $75,000, but you're going to have to go to Perth - other side of the country." The man says "Oh is that where the job is?" The clerk says "No sir. That's where the end of the line is right now."
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.