What's a rabbits favorite movie?
Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Vote:
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner."
Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Class: "Brotherly love."
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake.
By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.
This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.”Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.”
“It’s quite OK,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and find out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful” replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, “Well, you’re covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you,” cried the bunny, in obvious excitement.
The bunny suggested to the snake, “Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you’ve helped me.”
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, “Well, you’re smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I’d say you must be French”
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote:
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)