What's a rabbits favorite movie?
Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
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What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef.
I had to get rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.
What's a rabbits favourite car?
Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
Me: Hey look its Nemo!
Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish.
Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!