Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
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How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew?
When it has hares in it.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets.
The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!”
“I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.”
The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers.
He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in.
Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film.
Seated next to him is a woman.
She looks over at his lap and is horrified.
She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!”
Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it… you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”
Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!”
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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