When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.