Joke #9902

What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
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has 81.81 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, couple, disgusting, life, time
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, travel
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, men