Joke #10533

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 75.34 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food