What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.