Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.
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What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear.
They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead.
Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
Q:Where do you find giant snails?
A:On the ends of their fingers.