Joke #4714

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
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What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
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How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
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