I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust? A: Cheetah.
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong.
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
What's gray and powdery? Instant Elephant.