Joke #4714

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.

How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...