When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.